I don't know if it would be less painful, but if someone was profoundly mentally ill (organically, not by the means of voluntary intoxication) to the point where when they were murdering my loved-one, they thought they were doing something completely different, they would be less culpable in my mind, and thus I wouldn't harbor as much resentment towards them.
I suppose genuine remorse could help a little bit, but I'm generally skeptical when killers show remorse.
If the person did it because they felt like killing, the answer is nothing.
The full truth is that I don't know and I hope that I will never know.
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